Im a burden to my parents. I WANT TO KILL MYSELF. I JUST WANT TO DISAPPEAR. IM DONE. IM SIC OF MY LIFE. I MAKE MY PARENTS SUFFER. IM SUCH A USELESS DAUGHTER. I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY SO I SHOULD JUST DISAPPEAR. JFC JUST FUCKING KILL ME NOW.
I want to kill myself tonight. I probably should
I think this is one of my major flaws. I doubt my own ability. It’s frustrating because I’m going to start off with “You can do this” or “whatever it maybe you did your best” or “Just do your best and everything will be okay” but then I’ll start doubting myself. I’ll start asking my self why am I even trying when I know that i’ll fail. I’m going to tell my self that i’m way too ambitious and don’t fit the standards; that I’m subpar.
THIS IS ALWAYS HAPPEN. PART OF ME BELIEVES IN MYSELF AND WHEN I’M ALREADY BELIEVING IM GOING TO START PUTTING MYSELF DOWN. This is frustrating you knowwww.
I don’t want to continue this review anymore. I just get so stressed out. I feel so dumb and stupid. AND HE WAS TEACHING BASIC FUCKING ALGEBRA. BASIC ALGEBRA. BASIC!!!!!!! And it was too damn hard. Ughh. TOMORROW WE REVIEW ON CHEMISTRY. I FREAKING HATE CHEMISTRY. Ugh, I’m just so negative todayy. I feel bad, it’s like I’m disappointing my parents. I feel like I’m not going to pass the exam. I’m sorry I’m such a stupid daughter.
Today was the start of the review classes that I was talking about and I have so many things to do so I’m going to keep this short.
- Anxiety was present from the moment I woke up. I just don’t like being with tons of strangers (more so stuck in one room with them)
- I was so excited to see my bffs and eat bff fries with them.
- The classes were okay. I mean, it definitely wasn’t boring but it wasn’t ‘fun’ either. If they added more weeks to the schedule I wouldn’t mind.
- I learned a lot of things. And I was actually happy. I feel like my school doesn’t teach us any shit that’s why I feel so stupid answering the tests.
- SUPER FREAKING PRODUCTIVE DAY TODAY. It was probably because I had so much fun with my friends.
- IM POOR AND I DON’T HAVE MUCH CLOTHES. WHAT WILL I DO??
is he cute or is he just tall???? a real question yall need to ask yourselves
So tomorrow will be the start of my review classes. In my country there’s this test that you can take (which like 90% of the student population takes
nationwide) so that you can go in this university which has quality teaching and it’s very hard so you really do have to prepare for it.
Bullshit #1 : like what I said it freaking hard. You have to remember what you’ve been taught in school for the past 3-4 years because that’s how freaking big the coverage of the examination is. And I’m the type of person who forgets everything I’ve learned after the periodical tests. How will I even pass?
Bullshit#2 : I don’t even want to go to that university. But it’s a government university that’s very hard to get into and everybody wants me to study there because it’s an “honor” and it’s cheap. BS
Bullshit#3: I DON’T KNOW WHERE THE PLACE (where the review will be held) IS LOCATED. I DON’T KNOW WHERE I’LL GO BECAUSE I’LL GO ALONE. FUCK IT
Bullshit#4 : Like I’ve stated tomorrow is the start of the review classes and that also means meeting people and that means one thing - ANXIETY. I cannot and I mean CANNOT feel comfortable around tons of people. Sometimes even if I know them I still can’t be myself around them. There’ll be people in that class that’ll be better, smarter, skinnier, prettier than I am. HELL I KNOW THEY’LL BE BETTER THAN ME. Because I’m bullshit.
Anyway I guess I’ll just have to wing it tomorrow.
WHY THE HELL AM I WATCHING ‘A WALK TO REMEMBER’ AT 3AM??.