WHY THE HELL AM I WATCHING ‘A WALK TO REMEMBER’ AT 3AM??.
I don’t want to be fat but I keep on eating and eating because I’m too much of a failure to even try to lose weight.
I just want to be skinny again. I want my legs to not touch. I want my ribs to poke out; my collar bones, shoulder blades, hip bones. I want to eat the way I used to eat. No “getting fat,” no guilt. I want to go back. But no, I’m a fuck up. I didn’t lose weight when I got to high school. I blew up. I’m fucked up. And I cant look at old pictures because I see how skinny I was and know I can’t even look at myself. I’m such a failure.